Updated: Feb 23, 2020
Part 1: When will I come to terms?
Outside the screams of validation, interpersonal responsibility, all the know, when will I come?When will it shatter, this nature of this responsibility? For I’ve been broken down till there was nothing left. I’ve screamed at death, daring it to take me. I’ve known the darkest hour time and time again. I’ve meditated, I’ve retreated, I’ve sat, I’ve talked, I’ve bore my soul, I’ve gone against my trauma- and yet it keeps coming.
A Letter From A Trauma Survivor: Part 2
Life, the ghost you can’t kill, it follows. It’s like there is this secret I can’t learn. I’ve done the back and forth, I’ve committed, I’ve used my head. I’ve used my heart and yet nothing seems to avoid those rocks. I’m told it’s my anxiety, but it seems to reach so much deeper than that. There isn’t an area of my life that not impacted and those who we suppose to know seems just as stumped.I’m tired of the cycle, the around, that causes not just my smile but my soul to snap.“I’m here!” I scream.
And it’s met with silence...
A Letter From A Trauma Survivor: Part 3
The worst mistake you can make is to view this as melodramatic.For no amount of talk seems to reach this point inside of me, this place of pain.Does this seem just a trail into the endless distance?Or at some point, does it shift?Do you find that outreached hand, that won’t let go?Because that is something that seems lost on me.
A Letter From A Trauma Survivor: Part 4
And now we find ourselves, in one final act, a world that’s changed remains the same. For when you see that everything is temporary, something shifts inside of you. You move through situations like water, because on some deep level, you just accept yourself. You accept knowing what you know, and being willing to ask the question: “What does that mean??. Regardless of how people feel about it. In that you find solace, you find a place of distance, a place of certain peace. Because you relax, you just let go, you fully let go. It’s not that you won’t get stuck again, or that pain won’t happen, but that you will find a way through. You always do, and you always have. Cue Nike Music. But it’s not just that simple, it’s not just been a straight path here. It’s a all-over-the-place-I’m-not-sure path. And that’s ok because it is what it is.A slight smile in all matters.
A Letter From A Trauma Survivor: Part 1...